AlltheWrongPlaces
by Caffeinatedkiss
Summary: 4 years ago Hermione Granger lost her leg during an expedition in Romania. Now she’s lost her prosthetic during a crazy drunken night. She, Ginny and Theo must retrace their steps to find it. COMPLETE
1. Chapter1

**10am**

Hermione cracked open one eye, and then the other. She groaned as a splitting pain shot through her head. She drank far too much last night.

_"I'll just have one drink with you guys, but then I have to get home! Firewhiskey makes me crazy."_

_"Awe c'mon, Hermione! We all owe you a shot!"*_

She had closed her first case as head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Gringotts could no longer use dragons to guard their underground vaults. It had been a 2 year long fight. Court date after court date, and so many late nights pouring over legal papers. After the final hearing, she had planned on going home and sleeping her weekend away. But her coworkers had dragged her out to a local pub and gotten her completely sloshed.

She groaned again and sat up in bed. Something blue and sparkly caught her eye. Ginny had left a hangover potion on her nightstand. Hermione unstoppered it and chugged the whole thing. She threw her legs over the side of her bed and fumbled around for her prosthetic. Odd, it was usually propped up against the side of her bed. She peered over the edge, it wasn laying on the floor, either. Perhaps it rolled underneath. She plopped down on the floor and checked. Nothing. Sitting up, she rubbed the back of her neck and surveyed the room. It was nowhere to be seen.

After an hour of searching her entire home, she summoned a muggle crutch and apparated to Ginny's to get a rundown of the events that happened last night. She didn't remember much after the 4th shot of liquor and people whooping and chanting her name.

**11am**

"Ginny!" Hermione called from her living room. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 11am.

"Granger? I'm up here!" Came Ginny's voice from upstairs.

"Do you happen to have my leg?" Asked Hermione, cringing at her own irresponsibility.

"Erm… no? You don't have it?" Asked Ginny, coming down the stairs.

"Do you really think I would be asking you if you had my leg, if I had it?" She asked sarcastically.

"Hmm. I guess not." Said Ginny. She hopped off the last step and swept her red hair up into a ponytail. "Gods, do you remember anything from last night?" She asked. Hermione shook her head.

"I remember taking shots with Luna and Theo, and I remember throwing my drink on McLaggen for grabbing my arse." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. It wasn't like her to drink past the point of being in control of herself. It had been so long since she had let her hair down.

Ginny nodded thoughtfully. "I remember getting kicked out of the Toad and Lily, and I remember punching Blaise Zabini in the nose." Ginny held up her left how and showing Hermione 4 bruised knuckles.

Hermione gasped, "why did you punch him?" Ginny shrugged.

"I've not the slightest clue."

There was a crashing sound from inside the closet behind them. Both girls jumped and drew their wands. Theo Nott stumbled out. He had antlers growing out of his head, and two nipple tassels suctioned to his bare chest.

"Where am I?" He asked, looking around frantically.

"Um, I think that's the least of your worries, mate." Said Hermione. Ginny doubled over in laughter.

After an hour of trying different potions and charms, Hermione had managed to shrink Theo's antlers down to tiny two-inch spikes.

"You don't remember how you got antlers?" She asked, judgement coloring her voice.

Theo raised a brow at her. "I'm not the one hopping around on one leg, Granger." Ginny snickered behind her.

Hermione groaned and massaged the bridge of her nose. "We're going to have to retrace our steps. I know I had my leg at the Leaky, and I remember getting kicked out of the Toad and Lily. At some point we had to have gone to The Bat, because those tassels on Theo belong to one of the dancers."

"How do you suppose that?" Asked Theo. Hermione grabbed one of the tassels and gave it a sharp tug. It pulled off Theo's chest with a loud 'pop!'

"Ow!" Whined Theo, massaging his nipple. Hermione inspected the tassel. Sure enough, a name was written on the inside of the suction cup. Lilith.

"Do you remember meeting a dancer named Lilith last night?" She asked. Ginny and Theo both shook their heads. "Then that's our first stop." Theo pulled the other tassel off his chest and accio'd his shirt. Nothing happened.

"Awe man!" He groaned, "I lost my favorite shirt!"

**12:30pm**

The three landed in front of Wizarding London's most popular burlesque club, The Bat. The club didn't open for another thirty minutes so the three walked two blocks down to a little cafe for some coffee and pastries.

"I can't believe you're making me wear this stupid shirt." Complained Theo.

"If you wake up, half naked, in my house with antlers sprouting out of your head, you better damn well believe I'm going to make you wear Harry's 'Gryffindor Rules' shirt." Said Ginny, pulling off a corner of her scone and popping it into her mouth. Theo pouted and crossed his arms.

"Where is Harry anyways?" Asked Hermione.

"He took Ron home last night and ended up crashing there. Said Ron was too sloshed to apparate home without splinching himself. Harry stayed to keep an eye on him." Said Ginny.

"Such a saint, that Potter." Said Theo. "I'd have taken his wand and let him stumble all over Britain after the shite he tried to pull with Granger last night."

"What?!" Asked Ginny and Hermione, both of them whipping their heads in Theo's direction.

"Weasley made a move on you, you don't remember that? He snogged you in the middle of the Toad and Lily You threw your drink on him, that's why we got thrown out."

Hermione shook her head, "I threw my drink on McLaggen because he grabbed my arse."

Theo laughed, "I don't remember that, but I definitely remember you throwing a drink on Weasley. I bought you another shot because of it."

Hermione groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She had thrown a drink on Ron _and_ McLaggen? Ginny had punched Blaise in the nose, Theo had ended up with some burlesque dancer's tassels attached to his chest and her prosthetic leg was gone. She was never drinking again.

**12:30pm**

Draco Malfoy woke up with a head splitting headache. His jaw was sore, his wand was missing, and he was pretty sure he had gotten into a fistfight last night. Blaise had taken him out drinking to help him get his mind off of Astoria. His relationship with her had been doomed from the start. They both knew it. After two years of dating they had finally called it quits. They were in different places. She wanted to travel, and experience the world, he wanted to settle down and start a family. He had had enough "experiences" during the war. All he wanted was a quiet, perfectly boring life.

He threw his legs over the side of his bed and stood up.

"Oi! Watch it!" Draco stumbled sideways and fell flat on his arse. Blaise sat up and glared at him. "You stepped on my shoulder, prick."

"Why were you asleep on my floor?" Draco asked.

"You wouldn't share your bed with me." Said Blaise simply.

"What happened last night?" Asked Draco, rubbing his throbbing skull.

"We drank. A lot. I'm pretty sure you got your arse handed to you by some burlesque dancer." Said Blaise.

"That somehow doesn't answer my question at all." Said Draco, standing up and holding a hand out to Blaise.

Draco hunted around in his bathroom cabinet for a hangover potion while Blaise tried to recall the events of last night. "We stopped at the Leaky, and I think Weasley and Potter were there. I definitely remember Theo, too. We all walked down to The Bat and I don't remember much from there. I do remember some dancer slugging you in the jaw though.

Draco pulled out two hangover potions and tossed one to Blaise. They unstoppered then and clinked them together before tossing them back.

"I'm going to make some food." Announces Blaise. Draco sat back down on the bed and put his head in his hands. He had lost his girlfriend and gotten punched in the face all in the same day. That was just great.

"Drake!" Came Blaise's panicked voice.

Draco jumped up and sprinted into the living room. Blaise was looking at him in horror, in his arms was a prosthetic leg.


	2. Chapter2

**1:00pm**

Draco pointed at the leg in Blaise's arms.

"That's- that's a leg!" He said, shocked.

Blaise looked at him in panic. "Yeah, no shite, Malfoy!" He said, staring down at it. "Why do you have this?"

Draco threw his hands up, "fuck if I know! You're the one that's all into kinky shite, maybe you took it!"

Blaise glared at him "Just because I like being spanked, doesn't mean I'm into amputees."

Draco waved his hands. "Nope, stop. I'm not having a conversation about your sex life again."

"Then don't bring it up!" Snapped Blaise. He looked down at the leg again. "We have to find who this belongs to."

Draco stared at the leg and shook his head, "how did we go to a burlesque show and then end up with someone's leg? It doesn't make any sense." He looked up at Blaise and let out a cry of surprise. "Blaise! Your face!" Blaise's face had begun to morph. A great bruise bloomed across his nose and under both of his eyes.

Blaise dropped the leg and sprinted to the bathroom. The leg hit the floor with a heavy thud and rolled towards Draco, who hastily stepped out of the way.

Blaise stepped out of the bathroom and looked at Draco with horror. "Somebody broke my nose! And then glamoured it! And gave me a potion for the pain!"

Draco furrowed his brows, "why wouldn't they just take you to St. Mungos? Or at least set it! Your nose is completely crooked."

Blaise shrugged. "We were all pretty sloshed. Whoever broke it was probably in no position to apparate."

"Do you have your wand?" Asked Draco. He picked up the leg and tucked it under his arm. "We need to get your nose mended, and then we need to get to the bottom of this leg conundrum."

Blaise nodded and held out his elbow. Draco linked his arm through and the two turned on the spot.

**1:00pm**

Hermione, Ginny and Theo stepped into The Bat Burlesque Lounge and looked around. The lights were still high, and bartender was pulling out various bottles of liquor and his wand was directing a knife to slice up lemons and limes. The trio approached the bar cautiously.

"Excuse me, sir?" Asked Hermione. The bartender turned to her with a smile.

"Darling, call me Emmett." He said with a wink.

"Oh, um, Emmett. Could you tell me if Lilith is working today? We have something of hers." Hermione turned and looked at Theo, who was holding up the tassels, grinning sheepishly.

The bartender threw back his head and laughed.

"Ahh! I was told to expect you three today! Yes, Lilith is here. She's been waiting for you." With another wink he turned and disappeared down a hallway. Hermione rocked back and forth awkwardly on her heels. Ginny shuffled and Theo leaned against the bar, trying to appear calm and not the least bit nervous.

Emmett returned with a dark haired woman behind him. Hermione instantly felt self conscious. Lilith was beautiful. Her dark, coffee colored eyes were illuminated by the green eyeshadow surrounding them, her lips were the same shade. A spike of jealousy rushed through Hermione. She wished she had the complexion to pull off such a bold look.

"Ah, you three!" Said Lilith, she smiled and turned to Theo "How are those antlers treating you?" She asked with a mischievous smile. Theo tousled his hair, trying to hide the spikes.

"Fine." He mumbled. "Here's your tassels." He held them out to her and looked at the floor. Lilith plucked them from his hand. "Why did you give me antlers?"

Lilith laughed, "oh, I didn't give you antlers! The redhead did!"

Theo whipped his head to glare at Ginny "You did this?!" He asked, pointing at his head.

Ginny looked at him with alarm "I didn't know! I don't remember-"

"No, no, no not her! The bloke! He gave you the antlers. But you gave him a tail, so I suppose you're even." Said Lilith.

Hermione felt a giggle bubble past her lips. This story was getting more and more strange. Somewhere, Ron had woken up with a tail.

"So Lilith, can you tell us what happened last night? We don't remember much."

Lilith thought for a moment. "Well, you had the antlers already when you got here." She said to Theo. "You said something about the ginger bloke kissing your friend here," she gestured to Hermione, "and so you gave him a tail. I guess he gave you antlers as payback." She shrugged.

"Do you remember who all was with us? I really only remember these two and our friend Luna." Hermione suddenly realized that she had no idea where Luna even was, or if she had gotten home okay.

Lilith shook her head. "I remember you guys, another blonde girl, the redhead, a blonde bloke and a bloke with black hair. Oh, and Harry Potter!"

Hermione furrowed her brow. A blonde and a black haired bloke? She closed her eyes and thought hard. No faces came to mind.

"Why did I have your tassels attached to my chest?" Asked Theo. Lilith gave him a wolfish grin.

"You don't remember? You danced up on stage! Put on quite a show, too." Lilith waggled her eyebrows.

Hermione turned to see Theo's face go beet red, his eyes were the size of saucers. Ginny howled with laughter.

Hermione giggled and bit her lip. "Do you know what happened to my prosthetic leg?" She asked, pointing down at her left leg, which was amputated just above the knee.

Lilith blinked "Um, you lost it in a bet."

**2:30pm**

Draco and Blaise appeared in front of The Bat Burlesque Lounge. Blaise was in an exceptionally bad mood. The healer had set his nose, but there was nothing to be done about the deep purple bruising around his nose and under his eyes.

"I can't believe I'm about to walk into a lounge full of beautiful dancers looking like this." Blaise mumbled.

Draco rolled his eyes "we aren't here to pick up on women. We're here to return this leg to its rightful owner." They stepped into the dimly lit lounge and looked around. A dark haired, dark eyed beauty sashayed her way over to them. Draco fought to keep his eyes on her face, and not all over her fishnet clad legs and the black lace corset she was wearing. The lights from the stage shone on her skin. Body glitter sparkled on her arms and collar bones.

"I was hoping to see you again," She said, stopping in front of them. She looked Blaise up and down and smiled. "I have something for you." She turned her back to them and motioned them to follow. She ducked behind the bar and reappeared holding Draco's wand in her hand. She handed it over with a wink.

"Thanks," Draco mumbled, feeling his cheeks grow hot. "Would you mind um-" he looked up at the woman, unsure of her name."

"Lilith." She said, smiling at Draco.

"Lilith. Would you mind telling us what happened last night?" He asked awkwardly.

Lilith laughed. "You're not the first ones to ask me that today. Also, sorry about your jaw. I had to hit you, didn't have a choice! It was the only way to get you off that other guy."

Draco and Blaise exchanges glances.

"What other guy?" Asked Draco. He tried to think back to exactly who he had gotten into a fist fight with.

"The guy that grabbed your girls' arse!" Said Lilith. Draco raised a brow at her.

"I have a girl?" He asked, even more confused now.

"Well, you sure did last night!" Said Lilith, "she was here about an hour ago actually, looking for that." Lilith pointed at the leg in Draco's arms.

Draco's eyes widened "What was her name?" He asked frantically.

Lilith shrugged. "Dunno. She came in with a redheaded gal and one of your friends."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Blaise, shaking his head, "she came in with one of our friends? You're sure?"

Lilith laughed again. Draco was starting to become annoyed with her. This whole scenario wasn't funny to him at all.

"He was definitely one of your friends. All three of you were chanting 'Slytherins for life!' the whole night. Your girlfriend was pretty annoyed. Said 'if Slytherins are so great, then get your skinny arse up on stage and show us!' you chickened out, but your friend got up on stage with my tassels attached to his nipples and gave the whole club a performance to remember. That's how you got that leg."

Draco stared at her, completely speechless.

"So let me get this straight," said Blaise, "Draco and I came here last night, just the two of us, right?" He asked. Lilith shook her head yes. "And then we met with one of our friends, who was already here, with the girl who's leg this belongs to? And she gave it to Draco because our friend danced up on stage?"

Lilith nodded. "She bet you her leg that your friend wouldn't get up on stage and dance." She said, turning to Draco.

"Is there anything else that you can tell us? Do you remember anyone's names? That would help us find this mystery girl."

Lilith tapped her chin, "Harry Potter was there! Never thought I'd see the day that he'd buy a round of shots for a bunch of Slytherins. He was the only sober one, too."

"I think I need to sit down." Said Draco, feeling green all of the sudden.

"No time, mate, we have to find your girl!" Proclaimed Blaise. He hooked his arm through Draco's "it's just like the story of Cinderella, but with a lot more alcohol and a lot less class."

"Cinder-what?" Asked Draco.

Blaise shrugged, "It's just a muggle story that Granger told me about once."

**A/N, **

**I am having WAY too much fun writing this. I'm thinking it'll be 3, maybe 4 chapters long. **

**As always, I deeply appreciate everyone's reviews. It's nice to know that the stories I'm putting out into the world are actually being read. Thank you so much to everyone that's decided to partake with me on this weird journey of a story. **


	3. Chapter3

**Chapter 3**

**A/N***

**So glad to see you all are enjoying this story. I find myself giggling as I'm writing it. It's truly my favorite that I've written so far.**

**In this chapter, we're rewinding to catch up with the characters that aren't accounted for yet. Aren't you dying to see how Ron reacted when he woke up with a tail?**

**This is the last chapter of this fun little Drabble. I've had a blast writing it, I hope you all had a blast reading it. **

**10:00am**

Ron Weasley opened his eyes and immediately felt pissed off at the world. Damn alcohol. Damn Hermione Granger, and DAMN HANGOVERS. He threw his covers off and stomped to his bathroom, slamming the door hard behind him. A terrible pain shot up his rear. He spun around in shock, but was abruptly yanked back by an invisible force. He cried out in pain and desperately felt his bottom. Something long and furry was attached to him. Ron started to panic. A long, orange tail was sprouted out behind him. He had closed it in the door. He fumbled behind him for the doorknob. It clicked open and he let out a sigh of relief, followed by more panic. He had a tail peeking out of the top of his briefs. He spun in a circle, trying to catch it. It swept across his bathroom counter, effectively knocking off of the content off.

"Oh for the love of Godric!" He said through his teeth. He grabbed the tail and tugged it around his body for a closer look. A tail! He had a damned tail! Ron squeezes his eyes shut, trying to remember the son of a bitch that did this.

There was a quiet knock on the bathroom door.

"WHAT?!" Snapped Ron. The tail wriggled out of his hands and thumped heavily against the wall. The damned thing had a mind of its own.

"Er, Ron? Are you okay?" Came Harry's voice from the other side. "I heard crashing. I just wanted to check-"

"I'm fine, Harry!" Said Ron in a high voice, "I just… ah… slipped in the shower!"

"The showers not on." Said Harry flatly.

The tail swung around and slapped Ron in the face. "Oh, FUCK OFF!" He yelled at it.

"You fuck off!" Yelled Harry.

"No, not you! Oh, damn it! I'm opening the door but don't you dare laugh!" Ron opened the door and grabbed the tail. He held it out in front of him. "Did you know about this?" He asked.

Harry nodded, "I was sober last night. Saw the whole thing. To be honest, you deserved it."

"You- you think I deserve to have a damned monkey tail attached to my arse?!" He demanded.

"Technically it's attached to your tail-bone, but yes. Relax, it's only temporary. It'll shrink on its own." Said Harry with a shrug.

Ron opened his mouth to retort but Harry cut him off.

"Anyways, im making breakfast for Luna and I if you want any." He spun on his heel and stalked out of the room, clicking the door shut behind him.

"But what did I do to deserve a tail?" He asked to the empty room. He dragged his hands down his face and groaned. He was never ever drinking again.

**3:00pm**

Hermione, Ginny and Theo hit the ground in front of Ron Weasley's house.

"Right, let's get on with it." Said Hermione. She started towards the front door.

"Wait," said Theo desperately, "maybe I shouldn't be here. I gave Weasley a tail. He's probably in a right state over it."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Don't worry Nott, I'll protect you." Theo shot her a glare.

"I don't need protection." He mumbled.

Hermione nodded and turned to knock on the door. It opened before she finished. Harry stood in front of her, a wide grin on his face.

"Glad to see everyone bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning!" He said, smiling.

"Not funny!" Yelled someone behind him. Hermione recognized Ron's whiney voice. Harry smiled wider and stepped aside so they could enter.

Ron's house was the epitome of a bachelor pad. A large posted of the Chudley Cannons took up most of one wall, a stack of Playwitch magazines sat on the coffee table, which was littered with cigarette butts and empty butterbeer bottles. Ron sat in the recliner, squirming uncomfortably. He was glaring daggers at Theo, who was busy pretending that he didn't see the seething redhead.

"Malfoy's still got your leg, I see." Said Harry, jutting his chin in Hermione's direction.

"MALFOY?!" Said Ginny and Hermione simultaneously.

"Ohhhhh, now I remember!" Said Theo. "Yeah, Malfoy's got your leg! He's the one you made the bet with!"

Hermione turned and glared at Theo. "That would have been very helpful to know- oh, I don't know- FIVE HOURS AGO!"

Theo cringed and held his hands up in mock surrender "Sorry, sorry! I was just as drunk as you, if not more drunk. I woke up with antlers!"

"You call those tiny little twigs 'antlers'?!" Thundered Ron. He stood from his seat. Behind him, a long, orange tail sprang up. Hermione covered her mouth to hide her laugh, but Ginny let out a loud whoop.

"Oh, they were much larger this morning. I looked like a prized stag! Hermione shrunk them for me." Said Theo.

"Can you shrink this?" Asked Ron hopefully. He snatched the tail and offered it out to Hermione, who shook her head.

"Sorry, I don't help people that try to take advantage of me when I'm drunk. You'll have to wait for it to shrink on its own." She said, crossing her arms. Ron glared at her and sat back down on his chair, grumbling to himself.

"So Malfoy has my- WAIT, does that mean that he was the blonde I was supposedly all over last night?" She asked, already knowing the answer was yes.

Harry laughed, "oh, there's no 'supposedly' about it, 'Mione. You and Draco were wrapped around each other like two flobberworms in heat!"

"Ew! Wait, do flobberworms even go into heat?" Asked Theo.

"No, actually. Flobberworms are asexual." Came a wispy voice from the hallway. Everybody in the room spun to see Luna standing in the hallway.

"Luna!" Exclaimed Hermione. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Exploring," said Luna nonchalantly. "By the way, Ron, I folded all of your clothes that were on the floor and put them on your drawers, I hope you don't mind. You might want to buy new underwear, though, yours are full of nargles." She smiled.

Ron's ears reddened and he cleared his throat, "erm, thanks, Luna."

"So, wait, have you been in Ron's house the whole time?" Asked Harry. Luna nodded. "Where did you sleep? You didn't apparate home with Ron and I."

"No idea. I woke up on the roof, though." Said Luna, "that reminds me, has anyone seen my finger?" She held up her left hand a revealed a missing pinky finger. "I must have gotten splinched from apparating under the influence."

Hermione shook her head. Luna's finger could be anywhere in Britain. It was unlikely that she'd ever find it, and even if she did, it was even more unlikely that the appendage was even viable for reattachment.

"Oh, Harry, do you know why I punched Blaise Zabini in the face?" Asked Ginny.

"He asked you to," said Harry. He walked over to Ginny and slung his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, "and you really delivered."

"So he just… asked me to punch him in the face?" She asked, baffled.

"Yep. Said he wanted to see what you were made of. You said 'well, I could break your nose. That would give you a pretty good idea.' and he happily obliged."

Ginny's mouth fell open, "I broke his nose? Oh, Godric, I feel awful!" She dropped her face into her hands. "Actually, I don't feel awful. Every Slytherins deserves to get punched in the face at least once by a Gryffindor woman." she said, smiling widely at Hermione.

"Oh please," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "That was ten year ago! Besides, it sounds like Malfoy and I have put our differences aside. Speaking of, can I use your owl, Ron? I need to write to him and get my leg back. Hobbling around on this crutch it making my shoulder sore."

Ron crossed his arms. "Get rid of my tail, then you can use my owl." He said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine, come here and turn around." Ron did just that. Hermione conjured a sharp blade and grabbed the tail, slicing it cleanly from just above Ron's briefs. Blood spewed from the wound and Ron squealed, grabbing desperately at the spot. The tail wriggled violently in Hermione's hands. She wrinkled her nose and dropped it on the floor where it continued to thrash.

"Might want to clean this up, it's very sticky." She said, stepping over the puddle and heading to the kitchen.

"I wanted you to shrink it, not cut it off!" Screeched Ron. Hermione spun to face him.

"And I wanted to enjoy a night out with my friends, not have my arsehole ex boyfriend shove his tongue down my throat!" She shot back. Ron opened his mouth to retort, then shut it. Hermione turned and clicked her tongue, calling Ron's barn own over. She hastily grabbed a quill and scribbled a note.

"Malfoy's house." She told the own. It looked at her, waiting for further instructions. "Er, I don't know where he lives, sorry." The owl ruffled its feathers and flew out the window.

**3:45pm**

Malfoy unlocked the front door to his flat and trudged in, Blaise right behind him. He collapsed on the couch, exhausted, while Blaise went to his kitchen for a drink.

Blaise walked back into the room and dropped something into Draco's lap.

"What's this?" He asked, picking up an envelope.

"Dunno. Some owl was sitting in your kitchen, waiting with it tied to its leg. It shit all over your table, but I gave it a pellet and it took off." Said Blaise, taking a sip of water.

Draco flipped over the envelope. He didn't recognize the handwriting. He tore it open and read the note

Dear Malfoy,

I believe you've got my leg.

I'd like it back.

Please send me your address, and I'll be over to retrieve it.

-H. Granger

"Holy SHIT." Said Draco, reading the note again.

"What is it?" Asked Blasie.

"The leg belongs to Granger!" He tossed the note over to the other boy, who read it for himself.

"Strange. I don't remember- oh wait! Didn't Granger lose her leg a few years back in Romania? Yeah. She got bit by some dwarf dragon species while she was on an expedition and it's venom was flesh eating. Ate all the way up to her knee in a matter of half an hour! They didn't even have time to get her to a hospital before most of her leg was diseased. I read about it in the Prophet."

Come to think of it, Draco did remember reading something about that. He took the letter back from Blaise and flipped it over, scribbling his address onto the back.

"Are you going to be here when she arrives?" He asked Blaise, who shrugged.

"I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so yeah, I guess so." Draco rolled his eyes, "freeloader." He mumbled. He scratched out his address and wrote "Meet me at the café down the street from The Bat." He folded the paper and hunted down a new envelope. He called over his own owl and tied the note to its leg. "Take this to Granger, wherever she is." He told it before sending it out the window.

**4:10pm**

Draco drummed his fingers nervously on the table of the cafe. Twice he had to talk himself out of leaving the leg with the barista and going home. Why was he so nervous about seeing Granger face to face for the first time since the war? It had been nearly 5 years. He certainly hadn't been nervous last night. The dancer at The Bat had been very detailed about his interactions with Granger, going so far as to call her his girlfriend. That's how it had looked on the outside, like they were two people that were completely into each other, even though they hadn't spoken since Hogwarts. His most recent memory of her was when his aunt had tortured her in his home.

A shiver ran down his spine. She'd probably take her leg back and beat him over the head with it. And he'd deserve it. He'd let Granger beat the piss out of him in the middle of this café if that made them even. Even as he thought it, he knew it wouldn't make them even.

The sound of the cafe door jingling cut Draco off mid thought. He glanced over and saw Granger staring right at him. Thank Merlin he hadn't invited her to his flat. Blaise would have made things terribly awkward. Granger was beautiful. Far more beautiful than he remembered. Her hair was no longer the frizzy, unkempt mess that it had been in school. Her curls formed perfect ringlets that framed her face. She had an adorable dusting of freckles across her nose, she was taller than he remembered and- oh gods, she was saying something to him. Focus, Malfoy, FOCUS!

Granger held out her hand, and Draco stood and took it.

"-anyways, I feel like I've been on a wild goose chase all day!" She said, releasing his hand and pulling out her own chair. Draco wondered what the first half of her sentence had been. He'd been too busy admiring her face.

"So, did you go to The Bat today?" He asked, and then wanted to smack himself. Of course she had! She had been there before him! He knew that!

Granger wrinkled her brows "yes," she said slowly, "I just told you that."

Bollocks. Get it together, Malfoy.

"Do you want a coffee?" He asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Shouldn't I be buying you the coffee? You're the one that held onto my leg for the entire day." She said.

"I mean, it's my proof that I won a bet against Hermione Granger, of course I carried it around all day. It's my trophy." He said, giving her his most Malfoy smirk.

Hermione giggled. "I lost the bet, all the more reason to let me treat you." She said, waggling her eyebrows. Draco knew they could go back and forth like this for ages, and he'd still lose.

"Fine, Granger, you can buy the coffee." He said.

Granger stared at him expectantly, her brow raised at him.

"What?" He asked, "did you expect me to fight you for the honor of buying coffee?"

"No, but it would be easier for me to walk to the counter if I had my leg." She said, smirking.

Draco felt his cheeks grow hot. "Oh, erm, right." He picked up the leg, which had been leaning against his chair, and handed it over to her.

"Thanks." She rummaged around in her bag, pulling out some sort of silicone sleeve. Then she hiked her dress up, exposing most of her thigh. Draco felt a lump in his throat. His eyes flicked up to study the art on the walls. He did not want Granger to catch him admiring her. She fitted the sleeve over her amputation before sticking it into the socket of the prosthetic, there was a clicking sound as it locked in place. Draco found himself fascinated with the process. He had never seen a muggle made prosthetic. Most wizards that had amputations simple had magical limbs made for them.

"How come you chose a muggle prosthetic over a magical one?" Asked Draco when she returned with the coffee.

"My parents are good friends with a prosthetist in Australia, she's like an aunt to me. Besides, it would have been impossible to explain away a magical prosthetic at family gatherings and such, this was the easier route." She took a sip of her cappuccino and liked the foam from her top lip.

Draco swallowed.

"But isn't it annoying that it comes off? You can't sleep with it on. Can you shower with it?" He asked, suddenly wondering if those questions were even okay to ask.

"If my leg didn't come off, we wouldn't be sitting here having this wonderful conversation," Granger said, earning another blush from Malfoy, "and I can't shower with it, but I have a bench in my shower, so I don't really need it. Or, if I'm feeling lazy I'll just draw a bath."

An image of Granger in the bath came to Draco's mind. He quickly took a sip of his coffee. It scalded his tongue.

They quickly moved past the prosthetic talk. Granger talked about her adventures in Romania, and her fleeting relationship with Charlie Weasley, which made Draco feel a spike of jealousy, and about the case she had just settled at the Ministry.

Draco talked briefly about Astoria, before moving onto discussing his teaching career at Hogwarts.

"Looks like your students aren't the only ones that let loose during the summer holidays," said Granger, smirking over her mug.

Draco chuckled, "that's not a common practice for me. Blaise dragged me out. I didn't have much of a choice, he just kept buying me drink after drink."

**6:00pm**

After nearly two hours of conversation, the barista came and told them that the shop was closing for the night. Draco looked up in surprise. If he was being completely honest, he had forgotten that they were even in a coffee shop. He had been so immersed in Granger. Her golden eyes and dark, curly hair had pulled him in. He felt like he could listen to her talk about anything and everything forever. They walked together to the front door.

"Well," said Granger, "my flat is that way." She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. Draco nodded.

"Mine's the opposite." He said.

"Well, goodbye, then." She said, turning and walking away.

Draco stared after her. Images from last night flipped through his mind. As the eventing went on, his memories of Granger became clearer. His hands on her, her sitting in his lap, laughing together over jokes being told. He was fairly certain she had even licked salt and lime off of his neck.

It was now or never.

In a few moments, she would be gone. Their two hour conversation would be nothing but a memory if he didn't act now.

"Granger!" He called after her.

"Yeah?" She asked, turning back.

"Maybe tomorrow I can buy the coffee?" He asked, hopeful.

She smiled.

"I'd like that very much, Draco."


End file.
